Ahhhhh…fall. You know the feeling? The weather turns cool but not yet cold, the leaves start to change colors, hoodies and jeans replace flip-flops and shorts, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and Halloween decorations go up alongside general autumnal ones.

My mom gives great advice, but as a trained social worker and leader of mental health initiatives across Pennsylvania, that makes sense. When I began talking seriously about my goal of one day finding a partner, my mom’s advice proved invaluable.

“You can’t be loved if you don’t love yourself first”—the kind of line you read on TJ Maxx mugs and Instagram captions. It sounds cliché, right?